Me: Well, hello.
Mum (From next room): Is it a spider?
Me (Looking at very large spider): It would appear so.
How did you know it was a spider?
Mum: Move my purse off the counter!
Me: How did you know it was a spider?
Mum: There was one on the back of the chair and I shooed it away. It’s probably the same one.
Did you move my purse?
Me (Eyelevel with spider, peering intently): No.
Mum: Where’s the spider?
Me (Still peering): Next to your purse.
Mum: Move my purse!!!
Mum: I don’t want it to steal anything!
This is my life.
I kept staring at the spider, and eventually I reached out a finger nail and tapped its leg. Then it tapped me back, in an investigatory sort of way. Then we sort of shook hands. I smiled, and went in for another shake, when it went in for the kill, pouncing quite forcefully at my fingernail. I was expecting it though, so I pulled away before it could make any contact, if it had any mandibles at all.
My house is sort of overrun with spiders (although not in any way that one would notice). As I am a fan I’m not too horrified. They kind of stick to themselves and eat the random things that get in and make life difficult. In my room there are at least three species that I’ve noticed. We all have this understanding, a roommate’s agreement if you will. It simply states: “You can live in my room all you want, but my bed is off limits. Sorry.”